it's just one of those days

i wish i could be back home next to my mom.
i wish i knew what i was doing in orgo.
i wish i could fast forward time.
i wish i knew where i was going.
i wish i was more disciplined.
i wish i was more consistent.
i wish i were someone else.
i wish i was bolder.
i wish i could edit my past.
i wish i didn't give in too easily.
i wish i didn't care too much.
i wish i was stronger.
i wish i could just, live.

it's so intriguing how things from the past dictate what we become in the future.
there's so many things I wish to do, wish to see, wish to become. how selfish of me.

could you ever love this bastard child?
yes, He does. He does.
time and time again, i continue to spear You but nevertheless, You stay beside me.
i'm so messed up, for seriously.

it's just one of those days.
butttttt, moving on.