i'm reminded again

of why i need to deny myself and die to my greed, my selfishness, my self-consciousness, my desires, my goals, my life... this past week has been a one tough cookie to chew on. let me run that by again, this past semester has been a constant uphill struggle for me. there were times when everything felt like it was crumbling unto itself. crumbling into smaller parts that i, myself, couldn't piece together. this frustrated me. i was overwhelmed, overworked, and overpowered. i am stretched beyond what i could have imagined to be the extent of my stretchability.
i've been learning a lot about the intricacies of relationships and how one person can affect a network of other people. how one person's life can change many other factors in someone else's life. yet, the one person that is affecting me more and more each day... is calling me to be someone lesser than myself, which brings me back to the idea of me dying to myself. but, it's so much easier said than done.
i've been catching myself reminiscing of the past lately. reminiscing of what happened the past few months... and i think it's more of me wanting to go back to how it all used to be. how everything was so- comfortable.
break me in my comfort, let me only be satisfied in running to You. for Your perfection is what continues to break my imperfections.