it just is

here's to a new month, a new start of the day and week. it's amazing how fast everything is going by. i can't believe it's already february, my goodness.

although today is the start of a new month, it was also the end of a fasting i did with my church called the 21 days days of awakening fast, similar to that of the Daniel fast (fruits and veggies). fasting for the 21 days has been both a struggle and a blessing. it made me realize and appreciate God's realness and faithfulness. from here on out, there wouldn't be anything that would make me doubt God's presence in my life. nothing. He's proven His existence, His love, His patience with me too many times that i just can't go back to thinking He might be real. He IS real. i was reading over a passage in 2Kings yesterday, and felt like God was reaffirming the things i learned from this fast. it's found in 2Kings20:5b which reads, "I have heard your prayer and seen your tears; I will heal you." even though there were times of much doubting because of so many prayers left unanswered and so many tears shed, God redeemed them all. all. now, i'm just left to proclaim how Jesus is really alive.

so here i am, pondering how i can remain in His presence and in His glory. i know the answer, but it's so easy for me to give in to myself and get selfish. i need to die, DIE TO MYSELF. oh gooooosh, it's easier said then done, ya? for seriously.
but, i've learned lessons in the mending, and i made it through just fine. so it's time to move on. never again, never again will i slip and fall so hard like that.

anyways, this week will be when the full-fledged ownage time will begin. deep breaths, deep breaths. hee hee hoo hee hee hoo~ crank that gear, fuel up, because we're going to pull through. everybody, let's dropkick this piece in the face yo.

btw, go steelers.